I didn't call it a struggle for nothing...

Well, it's 6 months later...and I've been doing a whole hell of a lot of nothing. School started, I have around 3 jobs right now, and very little money. This whole process was much easier when I had extra income to spend on the right foods, on the gym, etc. Now I feel like I have no time to work out, let alone buy groceries, or spend time with DH. I didn't blog because I didn't want anyone to know what I wasn't doing. Although I think my lack of blogs was probably pretty obvious to all.

What to do now? Well. I have to get into the right mindset. I'm not sure if I've ever been in the right mindset. I wanted to lose weight to look better, make people jealous, feel better about myself. But that's not really the right reason. I'm not sure what the right reason is, but I need to find it if I'm going to do this and make it last for once.

I need to stop worrying what people think about what I'm doing with my life. I got a whole lot of crap from my family when I started watching what I ate. But it's not their body. Gaining weight back or eating unhealthy due to pressure? No thanks.

Why do I want to lose weight? Cuz I'm feeling sluggish and icky. Even though I'm eating better than I did 4 years ago, I'm still eating out way too much. I used to feel empowered and knowledgable about my choices. Now I just feel...kinda depressed. And it has to have something to do with my lack of exercise...and vitamins.

Well, welcome back to My Weightloss Struggle. Let's see if we can make a better go around this time.

--Steph

Day 17 and 18 | My Weightloss Struggle

I just finished Day 18 of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred Workout DVD. I've been away from blogging for a few days and I don't really have an excuse.

Lately, I've been doing an "every other day" workout schedule. Which isn't the best idea for fast results, but it's definitely not the worst I could be doing. I've been eating pretty well, and listening to Jillian's podcasts for inspiration. I'm learning a lot about caffeine, beef, and how to handle family functions and party atmosphere's that might be a struggle while trying to be on a regimine.

Today's workout was intense, but I completed everything without stopping and gave it my all. Still doing modified versions of the plank jacks and the plank jumping to the center thingys. (ha). Still, I'm starting to do deeper squats and higher knees and bigger twists and such. Definitely a progression.

I have a pretty bad cold, which makes things harder. I'm still going to work, but I'm sleeping a lot more and I feel pretty clouded. I think that's why I'm not working out as much. I have a sore throat and have a hard time getting enough air. But I completed it today even with a cold, so now there's no excuse. I really need to get vitamins to shake this cold as soon as possible.

I just bought Jillian Michael's book: Making the Cut. It's a 30 day intense program for people who have the last 10-20 pounds to lose. I'm very scared to start it, but I think that the exercises and recipes will be great until I feel comfortable enough to go all out. What I'm worried about is snacking and things. When I start the program, I can ONLY eat what's on the menu and have to stay strictly in my calorie range. And I'm worried about the negative feedback I might get. When I work out really hard and eat really well, people tell me I'm getting too obsessive with it. However, the people who say that aren't really good role models of fitness. But they're my family, so it's a little hard not to take it to heart.

DH is fully supportive of me and I'm hoping we'll end up doing the program together, even though he has a little more than 20 pounds to lose. I'm sure this will benefit us both.

Tomorrow I promise to do the workout right away and blog about it as soon as possible. See you tomorrow for Day 19 | My Weightloss Struggle

--Steph

Day 16 (Level 2, Day 6) | My Weightloss Struggle

Yesterday, I didn't do the workout DVD. Instead, I went to San Francisco and marched a little bit to protest the California Supreme Court Ruling that upheld Prop 8. Today, I woke up with a bad cold. I have a sore throat and I'm sneezing like crazy.

Still, I put in the 30 Day Shred DVD. And, by the end of circuit 1/strength, I started to cry. I didn't feel good, and I just. Broke. I paused the DVD, and texted DH "I don't know if I can do this today." And I sat. And waited for a response.

Guess what? It didn't come right away. I waited for a few minuted and asked myself. What am I waiting for? And I decided that I was waiting for DH to say that I could take a break and not finish working out. So that way the responsibility wasn't on me. But here's the thing: IT IS.

So I pressed play and continued. And pushed through it. And FINISHED. It was hard. It was SO hard today. I had to stop during plank twists again. But I did it. I'm strong enough to do it.

I feel a little guilty that I took a break (about 5 minutes in total), but I'm proud that I pushed play when I could have just stopped. I'm proud that I took the initiative to continue even when I was breaking down.

The rest of today, I'm going to relax and try to shake this cold of mine. And listen to some of Jillian Michael's podcasts. Clearly, I'm a big fan of her.

I need a hug. And some support today. But I am persevering. And can I say, I'm starting to see a difference. In my body, and my willpower.

--Steph | My Weightloss Struggle

Half Way Point | My Weightloss Struggle

Wooh. I just finished day 15 (Level 2, Day 5) of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. Today was my first day off work in a while, so I slept in, cleaned house, took a nap, and ran some errands. Still, I did the workout DVD. I'm pretty proud of myself for doing it too. Especially after a lot of sitting around all day.

I did the big girl exercises for the most part. Today, during "walkout pushups", I actually did pushups!!! Yay! Before, I followed Anita, and walked down to plank pose, held it for a second, and walked back up. This time, I walked down, did a pushup, and then walked back up. Woohoo!

I had to stop during plank twists again, but I held out for longer. I didn't have to stop until almost the very end. I felt my ankle land a little weird during the oblique twists, so I stuck to single jump rope today, but did them really quickly so I kept my heart rate up.

Unfortunately, I feel a little bit of nerve damage in my left arm. I think I might have slept wrong, but the heavy arm working in level 2 might have been a big part of it too. It didn't stop me from doing my exercises, but I'll see how I feel tomorrow.

Overall, I'm feeling a little more encouraged today. I think the rest has helped my morale. Weight update: I am now 147.5! Half a pound lost since I started. And I weighed myself after breakfast, so it could be more! Which is great, since last week I was up a pound. I'm starting to think that that gain was muscle, and the fat just took a little longer to come off.

Working out is hard, but I think I am starting to feel the endorphins from the exercise. I feel a lot better after I work out, even if I'm tired.

I think that once I'm done with these 30 days, I'll start again with level two until I fully master it. I know I won't be able to be a complete bad ass (like Natalie) in 5 days. So I'll keep doing it (maybe sometimes with level 1) until it's easy. I think that challenge will keep me doing it even after the 30 days is over.

See you tomorrow for day 16 of My Weightloss Struggle!

--Steph

Day 14 (Level 2, Day 4) | My Weightloss Struggle

Today I was a good girl and did Jillian Michael's work out DVD without much persuasion needed. I definitely feel myself getting stronger. I only had to stop once, during the plank twists. Damn plank twists. And I started to try to do less modification during the exercises. Part of me feels like I half-assed it during the high knees, but I know I squatted further during the row with the static lunge, and that other row that hurts my shoulders like mad.

I'm proud of myself today. But I know I still need to eat better. I really wish there was a store near my work that had nice, inexpensive, premade, healthy food. Like Trader Joe's. But there isn't, so I need to be good and start bringing my lunch!

That's all for now. See you tomorow for my half-way mark (Day 15!) for the "30 Day Shred" on My Weightloss Struggle.

--Steph

Day 13 (Level 2, Day 3) | My Weightloss Struggle

Okay, I'm officially discouraged. Still no pounds lost, and yesterday my shoulders were hurting me, so I took another break. Which I feel incredibly guilty about, but at least today the soreness was a little better and I completed the exercises. My back still hurts though.

I'm wondering if I'm ever going to lose weight. I feel a lot stronger, firmer, and a little more slender, but the scale doesn't agree. *sigh*. I have to keep going or I'll never know if I can do it.

Maybe it's okay to just be stronger and feel better. Maybe it's not about the scale so much. Maybe it's just about the confidence this will give me, even if I never have crazily defined abs.

I'll keep that in mind, and keep pushing. See you for Day 14 of My Weightloss Struggle.

--Steph

Day 12 (Level 2, Day 2) | My Weightloss Struggle

Today has been a busy day, so I didn't get the chance to post about my workout until now. Definite improvements on my exercising today. I didn't scream "I hate you" at the TV screen, but I still did have to stop a couple times. Planks pose kills. But, I didn't stop as much as I did on Day 1...I am getting better already.

Sometimes I feel like I have lost weight, and other times I don't feel it at all. I feel stronger, but I don't really feel slimmer at the moment, and it's kind of a letdown. I'll see if I've lost any weight in a couple days. This isn't really a good week for a girl to be measuring/weighing herself, so I may wait till next week. I haven't decided.

Diet update: Did you know black beans have more nutrients than pinto beans, but are about the same calories? Why wouldn't you have black beans knowing this?! Oh also, I cut my burrito in half at lunch today, and made myself drink a whole glass of water during my meal. I think it helps to fill my tummy while my brain registers that it is full. Plus, it keeps me from being dehydrated, or thinking I'm hungry when I really just am thirsty.

My shoulders are really sore today. Hopefully they'll be better in a day or two. See you tomorrow for Day 13 of My Weightloss Struggle!

--Steph

Level 2, Day 1 | Day 11 of My Weightloss Struggle

Level 2 of Jillian Michael's "30 Day Shred" kicked my ass so hard. If you want to know how it was, let me just say I screamed "I hate you" at the screen a whole lot. It sounds funny, but I'm so serious, and I didn't realize I was doing it for a while. Ha.

It was so hard on my arms. One circuit of everything (abs, strength, cardio) was done in "planks pose" which is push-up pose. Yeah, that's right. Cardio = jacks, abs = twist with one left, strength = walking pushups. Wow.

I admit, I had to stop a few times. Even on the "modified/easy versions"... Mostly during the plank exercises. The other things I fought through. I sweat and my arms are really tired. But you know what, I'm proud of myself. These exercises will get easier as time goes. And it made me really happy to see that Jillian's team was struggling too. They were laughing and panting through the pain with me. They were more talkative than Level 1, and I needed the distractions.

It's lunch time now. See you tomorrow for Day 12/Day 2 of Level 2 on My Weightloss Struggle!

--Steph

Done with Level 1! |My Weightloss Struggle

Today I finished Day 10 of Jillian Michael's "30 Day Shred" DVD!! That means, I'm done with Level One! The squat/punches were much easier today, as well as the crunches; which are usually the things that give me trouble. I had a little trouble with the static lunge/bicep curls today because I started to get off balance. I also attempted a full push-up today, but I had to go back to the modified version after three push-ups. Oh well. I'll try again in a few days.

Overall, I feel a lot stronger. I stopped feeling like I had to guzzle water in the middle of jump rope, and I'm no longer anticipating the ends of each exercise (a la "is this the last one? what about now?!" ...ha). I really want to weigh and measure myself, but I'm going to hold off since it's only been a few days since the last time, and I know that it won't show up on the scale just yet.

Today my energy and optimism were up a little bit more. Maybe because I knew it was the last day of level one. I'm really anxious to figure out what exercises are in level 2.

I'm off to eat breakfast now. Oh by the way, here's my recommendation for a breakfast/snack bar. Fiber One bars!! SO YUMMY! I love the Oats and Chocolate the best, but I just got the Oats and Strawberry and those are great too. I haven't tried the Chocolate Mocha, or the Apple yet. I have trouble getting my fiber in, and if I'm starving between meals, these are better than grabbing a candy bar.

See you tomorrow for the start of Level 2 on My Weightloss Struggle!

--Steph

Day 9 of My Weightloss Struggle

Well, I took another workout DVD break yesterday. I was volunteering for a dance event, and imagined I would be running up and downstairs all day. Instead, I ended up standing and walking around in 95 degree weather pointing cars in the direction of the parking lot. For 8 hours...Ah well.

So, today I woke up at 3 am because my adorable cat wanted to play. So I spend the rest of the night off and on pushing her off my face and trying to keep her from scratching my legs when I rolled over.

And I finally got out of bed at like...noon. It's my first day off from work/school in a long time, so I lounged for a bit. I sat and moped and felt self conscious for a while, and then I finally put in the exercise DVD. I just have to say, I feel SOOOOO much better now that I worked out. The endorphins must have kicked in.

I'm still not "shredded", but I'm feeling much stronger than when I started. Let's see how this continues. One more day of Level 1 and I'm on to level 2 on My Weightloss Struggle.

--Steph

Day 8 of my workout program | My Weightloss Struggle

I've officially been on my exercise program for over a week now. I stayed up late with friends last night and didn't eat the best (pizza), but I definitely didn't go crazy. I'm sure I stayed in my calorie range (around 1700 at most), because the rest of the day, I ate well.

This morning, however, my staying up late hit me. Still, I popped in the 30 Day Shred DVD and worked out. My arms weren't too sore even with the new weights, but boy were my legs tired! I hope all the squatting I'm doing will give me some defined legs when the weight comes off them.

After I did the workout, I noticed that I can see some ab muscles, which is encouraging. Still, however, I haven't really lost any weight. In fact, I'm up a little today. Jillian says that "muscle weighs more than fat" is an excuse. That if you aren't losing pounds, than you're really not doing all that you should. So, I'm really bummed out.

I'm not going to starve myself or keep myself from eating with friends. I'm not over eating, and I'm working out hard. I really need it to start paying off soon on the scale or I may start losing motivation. I hope this really is just water weight from my womanly cycle that should start any day now.

So I guess I'll end this post with I'm still going strong, but I'm starting to lose the excitement and hope I had at the beginning. I feel the muscles building, which is great, but I need to lose the excess weight before I can show them off.

See you tomorrow for Day 9, and hopefully with a little more passion in my weightloss struggle.

--Steph

Day 7 with real Dumbells! | My Weightloss Struggle

Let me start off by saying my workout was tiring today. I had the mindset that I might do a couple more days of Level 1 of 30 Day Shred because I wanted to fully experience it with the weights. But I still did the exercises fine. They were harder, but I completed them. I think that even though the weights were heavier, my legs had gotten stronger so I still did everything with proper form. I might be able to move on to Level 2 as scheduled.

We'll see how sore my arms are tomorrow. I know that I definitely sweat a lot more than I did the past few days. (Sorry all, a little TMI, but I felt it was important). The cardio is getting easier, although punches are still really hard. When Jillian Michaels says, "I want your legs burning;" I always yell at the TV "They are Jillian; They ARE!" Lol.

My form is getting better on the bicycle crunches. They hurt really bad -- I have to do them for one minute straight -- but I'm getting strong enough to be able to do them properly. When I first started, I put my legs at 90 degrees, and then bring my abs up while flailing my legs around. Now, I go up for the crunch, and my opposite leg meets my opposite elbow while the other leg straightens out. It's a much more controlled movement. So...

TIP: If you're doing your crunches and think you're not doing them right, keep at it. When your abdominal muscles get stronger, you can focus on your legs doing what they're supposed to. Mine's still not perfect, but it's getting there.

That's all for today! I'll update you on my arm soreness tomorrow on My Weightloss Struggle!

--Steph

My dumbells are here! | My Weightloss Struggle

Today, my weights have arrived in the mail! They are neon pink, small 2 pound dumbells, which will be easy to hold in my hands as I do my exercises tomorrow. I'm quite excited to use them.

I hope the workouts won't be way too draining with the change in weight, but I do hope I can firm up my muscles faster.

Oh, and I'm starting to see some abs forming! Yay!

I'll let you know tomorrow how my 2 lb dumbells work when I do my Day 7 Jillian Michael's DVD.

Until tomorrow,

--Steph

Day 6 of workout | My Weightloss Struggle

Today is supposed to be Day 7 of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred Workout DVD. But, it is only Day 6. Yesterday morning, I woke up with cramps and back pain that were so bad I was nauseous. I took some medicine and went to work, thinking I would exercise when I got home at 11 a.m.

I ended up working until 1:30pm, and all that time my right leg was buzzing on and off. It didn't hurt too much, but it felt as if I damaged a nerve. I think it happened when I did the lunge with the bicep curls. A few times, I lunged and my knee hit the floor, so I might have jerked something.

The same thing happened to me in the other leg when I was a lot younger, after I did a lunge move during a dance sequence for a school play. It buzzed and hurt when I would bend over for months. Because of that, I was scared that if I worked out I would hurt it worse than I already had.

So I took a break yesterday. I ate healthy, I still walked to and from work, I just didn't do the DVD. I feel a little guilty about it, but I think taking a day off is better than injuring myself.

This morning I got up, still with cramps, and did Jillian's workout DVD. My leg is buzzing a little bit right now, but definitely not as much as it was yesterday. I made sure to lunge more gently with my right leg. I still feel stronger than I had before.

I weighed myself yesterday, even though it hasn't been a full week yet. I have lost 1/2 a pound! I am trying to be proud of that because it is still a loss, even if it doesn't want to go as quickly as I'd like. I'm also near my period, so I definitely could be bloated. We will see next week after it's over to see how well I'm doing.

Does anyone know how to stretch the hip muscle? It is on my side near my hip bone and the side lunges with shoulder raises have made the muscle tight. Bringing my opposite hand over my head and leaning to my side helps a little bit, but that's all I can think of.

Until later, happy weightloss! And see you tomorrow for Day 7 of my weightloss struggle!

--Steph

Yay Day 5!!! |My Weightloss Struggle

Today I finished Day 5 of Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred Weightloss DVD! And guess what?! The "beginner's versions" of the exercises were too easy! I had to start following Natalie, who was doing the "harder" or regular versions!! This meant I was going all the way down on the lunges, higher with the butt kicks and jump rope.

I'm going to be past level 1 before I even get my hand weights. That kinda worries me a little bit, but oh well. I'm not going to stop.

DH did the exercises with me today, and they were a little hard for him since this was his second day while it was my 5th. I'm really proud of him for sticking with it.

Diet update: I snacked a little yesterday, but I think my calories were still okay. It was my last day of school for the year, so people brought snacks to class. I was good though, I focused on the strawberries and when I couldn't resist, I only had 1/2 of a cookie. And then for dinner, DH and I ate out (I'm a sucker for mexican food), so I made sure not to eat again last night. I wasn't very hungry after that anyway.

Now it's time for breakfast. I think I'll go with the basic cereal. Diet tip: Only 1 serving!! Yes, that often means only one cup. Not a bowl. A measured cup! It's so hard for me, so I think I might be telling myself. Ha

Tune in tomorrow to find out how Day 6 is going. Oh and in the meantime, watch the finale of The Biggest Loser on NBC. It's one of the things that motivated me to start exercising and lose weight in the first place.

--Steph

Day 4 of My Weightloss Struggle

I just completed my 4th workout using Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. I woke up this morning not sore at all...(almost)! What a difference a few days make!!

For some reason, though, the exercises were harder today than ever before. I just didn't have the will in the same way I had in the past. I felt my feet slipping while I was doing lunges. DH helped me out and braced me so I could do the lunges without falling over. I felt lazy. I found myself saying "oh I can't do that so I'll just do it half way" ...and I stopped myself. What do you mean you can't do it?! You did it yesterday and the day before?! Luckily I caught myself anId kept pushing forward. But I wonder where that hesitation came from.

I guess all that matters is that I did the exercises. I really want to get to the emotional root of the problem though. Why am I scared to lose weight? ...I guess I'll update that later when I think about it more.

I officially measured myself today so I have a starting point. I'm about 40 inches in my waist and 41 in my hips. It surprised me, since I am an hour glass shape as a whole. I hope to lose weight as soon as possible to get rid of those extra inches.

Diet: For breakfast, I'm having applesauce, one whole egg and one egg white. About 140 calories. I tend to make my first couple of meals small and close together (I'll eat a snack in about 2 hours, then lunch an hour or two after that), so that way I can have a 500 or 600 calorie dinner, plus dessert and still be around 1700 calories. It works well for me. DH has fewer meals (standard 3 meals), but more calories in each meal.

I feel a little bit of a cold or allergies or something coming on. I think I should go buy a multivitamin. The ones I had previously expired a long time ago.

Time to eat now. See you soon for more weightloss experiences!

--Steph

Two Words: SPLENDA BROWNIES |My Weightloss Struggle

It is still Day 3 of my weight loss attempt. Today I did really well on my caloric intake. I did eat a restaurant-bought burrito at lunch, but I cut it in half and ate half for lunch and half for dinner. I drank lots of water with it, and it filled me up fine. I was really proud of myself for not eating the whole thing right away.

I wanted to share something with you that I found great. I have been craving brownies for a long time. And I am a huge fan of Splenda. I have made Splenda cookies in the past, and was a big fan. I crave sweets (especially chocolate) all the time, and I love being able to factor in a couple hundred calories for something I really enjoy at the end of the day. It still allows me to lose weight (assuming I don't eat the entire pan), and I am not tempted to go online and order cookies to be delivered at 2 a.m. -- ah college towns.

Today I found a recipe for Splenda brownies. I was a little bit skeptical because as I was searching, I found a lot of questionable reviews. I LOVED THEM. You can find the recipe I used here. I changed the recipe a little bit. I cut the walnuts since the DH isn't a big fan, and used regular size semisweet chocolate chips instead of mini size.

You have to be aware that using splenda is a big texture difference. It is a little bit flatter than regular brownies, and much more cakey. I used one of those disposable aluminum pans, and I was able to turn it over onto a plate right out of the oven. I put them in a smaller pan than it suggests so they were thicker. They were amazing. They were not overly sweet like some brownie mixes can get, which was great.

They are only about 160 calories, so that's even better. It serves 8, so I'm sure we will be eating these for a couple days.

I just finished eating one and I couldn't wait to share with everyone. Have a great night and I'll write you tomorrow after I complete Day 4 of Jillian Michael's "30 Day Shred". Happy Weightloss!

--Steph

Exercise Day 3 | My Weightloss Struggle

Today is Day 3 of my weight loss attempt. Before I start, I just want to say good morning and Happy Mother's Day to all out there!

Diet update: I told myself I wouldn't "diet," I would just make smarter food choices in order to speed up this weightloss. Well, I did really well yesterday... until dinner. I ordered sushi. Which isn't too bad, but it's high in sodium and it put me at about 1900 calories for the day instead of the 1700 calories I was shooting for. I am trying not to be disappointed in myself, since 1900 calories is still not bad (and that's just my estimate). I just have to keep pushing.

Diet Tip: Stop drinking your calories! I love juice...and I bet that's what put me over for the day, not the sushi. Not a bad choice, but I didn't have to have so many servings of it.

Workout Day 3 - Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred | Level 1: This morning I woke up to sore muscles from all the exercise, but I noticed they weren't as sore as the first day. That really surprised me for some reason. I thought that since I exercised on Day 2 when my muscles were in agony, they would still be in agony today. But no, they are sore, but not as bad. I am already getting stronger! Yay!

After waking up, I put in Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred Workout DVD once again. DH (Dear Husband...well fiance, but DH is a lot more commonly used so were going to go with that) suggested that instead of soup cans, I use the cans of sealant he had used on Day 1 of our weightloss attempt. They were heavier and closer to the 2 pound weights I am waiting for in the mail. I used them throughout the exercise DVD, and the lunge with the arm raise (sorry I can't remember what the exercise is called at the moment) hurt like hell. Well I guess we know it's working.

Thoughts on Jillian Michaels: I LOVE HER. I have been watching The Biggest Loser on NBC for years now, and I like her the most. Bob Harper's okay, I just don't see myself ever doing yoga. Why do I like Jillian a million times more than Kim Lyons (also from The Biggest Loser)? When I'm working out and trying to lose weight, the last thing I want to hear is a overly energetic cheerleader. I'm not that kind of girl. Jillian Michaels is stern, and she's real. She doesn't cry for you when it's hard, nor does she give pep. I hate overly perky trainers when I'm in pain. I'm an avid watcher of The Biggest Loser, and she is a caring person who doesn't put up with bullshit and I love it.

Thoughts on "Workout Buddies": The first time I lost weight, I lost it side by side with my DH. He pushed me, encouraged me, motivated me to run faster, do another set of exercises, and try to lose weight and get into a bikini body. And I would do my best to encourage him to work out harder. But here's the problem with that. If one of us was tired or sore, we both suffered. Neither of us would force the other to work out if we didn't feel up to it. So we stopped losing weight. One of us was always tired.

So, don't depend on your buddy. It's okay to do it on your own. And it took me until now to really feel comfortable with that. Today and yesterday I exercised by myself when DH was at work. And that's okay. If I'm doing this for me, I should do it when I have time, and when I'm motivated.

Bottom Line: Don't give yourself any more excuses or you will never lose weight!! I don't care if your workout buddy is sick! If you want it for you, you will make it happen!

Okay, that's enough for right now, I need to hop into the shower before my muscles get too cold. I'm really excited to start seeing results via weightloss and not just sore muscles! Next post will probably be today about my diet, if not, see you tomorrow with Exercise Day 4 of My Weightloss Struggle

--Steph

Day Two of Weight Loss Attempt #2

I am beginning with Day 2 in my weight loss attempt. But before I start there, I need to explain how this exercise journey started. In Fall of 2007, I was 163 pounds, and very out of shape. I was eating out almost constantly, and only worked out when I walked to my next class. I was still the thinner one in my family, but I had been on countless random diets, which, needless to say, didn’t work.

I had been talking about getting healthy for the longest time. What made the difference? Probably the Halloween picture on the left. So as of January 1st, 2008; I joined the gym, hired a trainer, and stopped eating junk. Six months later, I was 130 pounds, and bought my first bikini. I wasn’t comfortable enough to wear it yet, but it was such a difference. I went from a size 13 to a size 7/8.

So, why am I starting this blog now, you ask? Because the holidays, the economy, and laziness hit. I no longer have a trainer, and junk food is cheaper than healthy food…I gained about 20 pounds back in the past few months, although I tell everyone it's 10 pounds and blame Christmas. I’m at 149 lbs today and almost all the weight I’ve lost, I’ve put back on.

My body type is still a lot better than it used to be before the weight loss. I still haven’t had fast food in over a year. I haven’t gained a size, but it is clear that I have gained weight. Nothing fits right, I wear the baggy clothing I own. I am no longer happy with how I look. I have fallen off the wagon and it’s time to get back on. Preferably before my 21st birthday this summer.

Since I don’t have the money to hire a personal trainer, I did the next best thing. I bought “Jillian Michaels: 30 Day Shred” DVD. I put it in the DVD player and took some canned food out of my cupboard until my weights arrive in the mail. And boy did Day 1 kick my ass! It’s only 20 minutes of circuit training, but I was aching and sweating. And loving Jillian even more than I did watching her on TV.

Today is Day 2. I woke up with my body aching. I could barely move. And yet, in went the DVD. And I made a sandwich to eat at work instead of getting something on the way. They say healthy choices lead to more healthy choices. Why workout so hard just waste calories on takeout chinese food?!

The cardio exercises were much easier today. And the strength training was so much harder. I'm climbing stairs at work in slow motion. But I did it. For myself this time. Not for my family or friends, or all the skinny people I see at school. And now I’m more committed to weight loss and getting healthy than I have been in a long time.


--Steph

My Struggle in Weightloss Begins!

Welcome to My Weightloss Struggle. This site provides tips and techniques for people who want to lose weight in order to get fit, have more energy, and feel better about themselves. The information I give in this weightloss blog is my personal journey as I exercise and lose weight. Exercise is not easy, but I hope it will be successful. Thank you for becoming one of my workout buddies online! I hope we can give each other workout support!

--Steph